Biblical Parenting 101...

Both Dana and Stacie have had the privilege to know and walk with an amazing Christian gal who has served her family and church body for over 30 years.  She is a pastor's wife, dedicated mother of 5, compassionate friend and loving mentor to hundreds of ladies in her life.  Jill Klontz helps lead ministry alongside her husband Tim Klontz at Family Bible Church in Chandler, AZ.  The Betties have known her and her family now for over 10 years and we were among a handful of families that helped Family Bible Church get started in 2004.  Both of the girlfriends taught Sunday School to the littles, Dana sang with the worship team, the Cute Banker helped with the financials. The Handy Outdoorsman set up chairs and put stuff where it needed to be. You see, we worshipped in a school gymnasium the first few years.  Well, FBC has moved on from the gymnasium and onto a permanent location, as God provided the resources for a home at the NE corner of Alma School and Queen Creek in Chandler, AZ 

Although the girlfriends and their families have moved to different churches closer to home (Stacie's family at Central Cristian Church: Gilbert and Dana's family at Mission Community Church) they still reflect upon the amazing Biblical wisdom poured over them during their early parenting days at FBC.  Tim and Jill led a class called "Training the Heart."  The advice and perspective they offered was better than anything we could have imagined.  Tim and Jill were at the tail end of raising their five children...and these kids were the proof in the pudding that their faith in Jesus was more than just preaching...they were practicing it, living it and WOW it was working!

We were all ears as we juggled newborns and toddlers hoping to give them solid foundations in Christ.  We still recall Tim and Jill's advice and replay it in our minds often.  And there are times we feel a refresher course is needed!  So straight from the source...here is our dear friend who has been kind enough to give us some of the top BIBLICAL parenting tips that she implemented in her own home.  And now her kids are completely grown (and she has 4 grandchildren)... her advice has remained the same.  That's the thing about solid Biblical advice...it's not gonna change!  Amen for an unchanging, everlasting God!  Thanks Jill for these reminders and your wisdom...it's been so valuable!  An Intentional Fairytale: Jill take it away!

I love the idea of a Fairytale...and included in my happy ever after would be some adorable, well-behaved HaPPy children. As I began having children (five in all) I quickly realized that the "well- behaved" and "happy" part  would require some cultivation and intentional management from me - their MoM!  
As I got ready for this challenge I had two main convictions:
1)  I wanted to see heart changes and a joyful attitude more than just outward behavior  (Luke 6:45).
2) I wanted everything that I did as a parent to line up with Godly wisdom and Biblical truth (2 Timothy 5:16; John 17:17).

With that said...I want to share a few key elements that have been most helpful and effective to accomplish this goal.

BE THE MOM

Own the Title. Step up to the plate with confidence. Say what you mean, mean what you say and follow through with consistent intentional action. Stop making excuses for bad behavior and take charge. (1 Corinthians 4:2)

INSTITUTE the Most Important RULE that you will EVER have!!!  

"If you whine, it is an automatic NO!"  This rule is VERY effective for all ages. Your child will quickly learn that whining is not the vehicle to navigate them through this journey of life. Seriously THIS is the best kept secret that you need to unlock NOW. (Philippians 2:14)

USE EVERY OPPORTUNITY

Be Intentional to teach and instruct your child with every chance you get. Don't ever miss the opportunities that you have to point them to the Truth. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

GIVE CLEAR INSTRUCTION

Make it very clear what you expect and what the consequences are for not following through.  Have them repeat what you've instructed back to you so you know that they are fully aware of your expectations.  

UNDERSTAND BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE

The Bible talks a lot about discipline and specifically about the importance of spanking when dealing with willful rebellion. This is a hot topic but when understood and followed through in the right way....it does bring about Peace (Hebrews 12:5-11). This is not something to enter in without Biblical understanding and research and should NOT be administered with anger... Some clear verses on discipline are found in the book of Proverbs and are definitely important to ponder when you have the magnitude of MOTHER as a title.

CHOOSE JOY 

The benefits of a good attitude and willing spirit are followed with blessing while bad attitudes bring more misery and consequences. (Philippians 4:4)

MAKE MEMORIES

Make Lots and lots of fun memories.  Some of my children's favorite memories include: ice cream for breakfast, playing games, pajama rides at night, swing dance lessons as a family, singing silly songs, making s'mores, sharing the highlights of their days around the dinner table... 

Affirm, affirm, affirm....Hug, hug, hug......Laugh and giggle a LoT...

 ...I wish I could be sharing with you face to face, giving you lots of examples, cheering you on or answering some of your questions.  I could easily write pages on how many times I have failed but  God  has given us a very precious gift called "Grace" and it is on that sweet note that I rejoice.  Actually the most powerful tip I should put in giant letters at the top of this page is to PRAY CoNtInualLY....asking for God's WISDOM in your eVerY moment . God is Faithful and there is such Joy to walk in His Truth. 

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

-Jill Klontz
Family Bible Church
Chandler, AZ

Thank You Jill!!!!  The girlfriends are still owning our Mom Titles; when they whine we tell them ummmmm....NO!  We turn off the TV when giving instructions and Dana finds it even better if you can physically place a hand on your boy's shoulder when giving instructions.  We are trying to choose that joy still.  And really making those memories, laughing, hugging and giggling...it's the best part and we strive to do some of it every day.  Affirming and using every opportunity to teach the truth...well we are trying.  And Biblical Dicipline...it's THE ONLY WAY!  This formula really does work.  So Be Da Mom!  Have confidence that you know what's best for your kids and sometimes it's in the form of a "no" or a spanking on the bum.  But love them like crazy and cherish them in-between the life lessons....they will absorb compassion, walk in truth and love the Lord!

Blessings!

-The Betties