Biblical Parenting 101...

Both Dana and Stacie have had the privilege to know and walk with an amazing Christian gal who has served her family and church body for over 30 years.  She is a pastor's wife, dedicated mother of 5, compassionate friend and loving mentor to hundreds of ladies in her life.  Jill Klontz helps lead ministry alongside her husband Tim Klontz at Family Bible Church in Chandler, AZ.  The Betties have known her and her family now for over 10 years and we were among a handful of families that helped Family Bible Church get started in 2004.  Both of the girlfriends taught Sunday School to the littles, Dana sang with the worship team, the Cute Banker helped with the financials. The Handy Outdoorsman set up chairs and put stuff where it needed to be. You see, we worshipped in a school gymnasium the first few years.  Well, FBC has moved on from the gymnasium and onto a permanent location, as God provided the resources for a home at the NE corner of Alma School and Queen Creek in Chandler, AZ 

Although the girlfriends and their families have moved to different churches closer to home (Stacie's family at Central Cristian Church: Gilbert and Dana's family at Mission Community Church) they still reflect upon the amazing Biblical wisdom poured over them during their early parenting days at FBC.  Tim and Jill led a class called "Training the Heart."  The advice and perspective they offered was better than anything we could have imagined.  Tim and Jill were at the tail end of raising their five children...and these kids were the proof in the pudding that their faith in Jesus was more than just preaching...they were practicing it, living it and WOW it was working!

We were all ears as we juggled newborns and toddlers hoping to give them solid foundations in Christ.  We still recall Tim and Jill's advice and replay it in our minds often.  And there are times we feel a refresher course is needed!  So straight from the source...here is our dear friend who has been kind enough to give us some of the top BIBLICAL parenting tips that she implemented in her own home.  And now her kids are completely grown (and she has 4 grandchildren)... her advice has remained the same.  That's the thing about solid Biblical advice...it's not gonna change!  Amen for an unchanging, everlasting God!  Thanks Jill for these reminders and your wisdom...it's been so valuable!  An Intentional Fairytale: Jill take it away!

I love the idea of a Fairytale...and included in my happy ever after would be some adorable, well-behaved HaPPy children. As I began having children (five in all) I quickly realized that the "well- behaved" and "happy" part  would require some cultivation and intentional management from me - their MoM!  
As I got ready for this challenge I had two main convictions:
1)  I wanted to see heart changes and a joyful attitude more than just outward behavior  (Luke 6:45).
2) I wanted everything that I did as a parent to line up with Godly wisdom and Biblical truth (2 Timothy 5:16; John 17:17).

With that said...I want to share a few key elements that have been most helpful and effective to accomplish this goal.

BE THE MOM

Own the Title. Step up to the plate with confidence. Say what you mean, mean what you say and follow through with consistent intentional action. Stop making excuses for bad behavior and take charge. (1 Corinthians 4:2)

INSTITUTE the Most Important RULE that you will EVER have!!!  

"If you whine, it is an automatic NO!"  This rule is VERY effective for all ages. Your child will quickly learn that whining is not the vehicle to navigate them through this journey of life. Seriously THIS is the best kept secret that you need to unlock NOW. (Philippians 2:14)

USE EVERY OPPORTUNITY

Be Intentional to teach and instruct your child with every chance you get. Don't ever miss the opportunities that you have to point them to the Truth. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

GIVE CLEAR INSTRUCTION

Make it very clear what you expect and what the consequences are for not following through.  Have them repeat what you've instructed back to you so you know that they are fully aware of your expectations.  

UNDERSTAND BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE

The Bible talks a lot about discipline and specifically about the importance of spanking when dealing with willful rebellion. This is a hot topic but when understood and followed through in the right way....it does bring about Peace (Hebrews 12:5-11). This is not something to enter in without Biblical understanding and research and should NOT be administered with anger... Some clear verses on discipline are found in the book of Proverbs and are definitely important to ponder when you have the magnitude of MOTHER as a title.

CHOOSE JOY 

The benefits of a good attitude and willing spirit are followed with blessing while bad attitudes bring more misery and consequences. (Philippians 4:4)

MAKE MEMORIES

Make Lots and lots of fun memories.  Some of my children's favorite memories include: ice cream for breakfast, playing games, pajama rides at night, swing dance lessons as a family, singing silly songs, making s'mores, sharing the highlights of their days around the dinner table... 

Affirm, affirm, affirm....Hug, hug, hug......Laugh and giggle a LoT...

 ...I wish I could be sharing with you face to face, giving you lots of examples, cheering you on or answering some of your questions.  I could easily write pages on how many times I have failed but  God  has given us a very precious gift called "Grace" and it is on that sweet note that I rejoice.  Actually the most powerful tip I should put in giant letters at the top of this page is to PRAY CoNtInualLY....asking for God's WISDOM in your eVerY moment . God is Faithful and there is such Joy to walk in His Truth. 

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

-Jill Klontz
Family Bible Church
Chandler, AZ

Thank You Jill!!!!  The girlfriends are still owning our Mom Titles; when they whine we tell them ummmmm....NO!  We turn off the TV when giving instructions and Dana finds it even better if you can physically place a hand on your boy's shoulder when giving instructions.  We are trying to choose that joy still.  And really making those memories, laughing, hugging and giggling...it's the best part and we strive to do some of it every day.  Affirming and using every opportunity to teach the truth...well we are trying.  And Biblical Dicipline...it's THE ONLY WAY!  This formula really does work.  So Be Da Mom!  Have confidence that you know what's best for your kids and sometimes it's in the form of a "no" or a spanking on the bum.  But love them like crazy and cherish them in-between the life lessons....they will absorb compassion, walk in truth and love the Lord!

Blessings!

-The Betties

Happy Mother's Day!

So Mother's Day is here!  As young girls we remember feeling pressure to make our moms feel special.  We worked on Mother's Day school projects and crafts...we honored her with a day off in the kitchen and tried to be on our best behavior.  How could we ever repay our Mothers with one day of kindness?  It seemed like a monumental task!

Flash Forward 20 years.  As first time moms ourselves, with newborn infants to care for,  our husbands had that same pressure building, "I must make her feel special, but how?  I can't nurse the baby, and as hard as I try can't give her the day off...this little one needs her.  Plus I have my own mother that I need to do something special for!"  A bouquet of flowers at the local Safeway and her favorite bottle of perfume.  Time marches on.

Add 5 more years to the picture...now the home is bubbling with 3 or 4 children (depending on which Betty you talk to).  Finally, you give up on the perfect Mother's Day scenario.  What she really wants is a new Kitchen Aid and to be left alone to sleep in...dare you purchase a kitchen appliance for such an occasion?  I mean, this is the stuff people mock and surely she will be disappointed.   You go against better judgment and she is thrilled.  It worked.

Now add an additional 5-10 years with pre-teen children in the home and the fun really begins!!!  The kids can really try and make the day special with a little help from dad still.  Mom, no longer needs to sleep in...her internal clock can't seem to sleep past 7:00 anyway.  She actually can envision (sadly) a day when the kids won't be in the home greeting her with hand made gifts and cards.  The need to get out and have "me" time is still there but is now contrasted with the thought of what little time she has left enjoying all of  her kids at home.  When did this occur?  The moment when you think I cannot keep my eyes open one more minute from sleep deprivation (while nursing your baby) to I have 5 more years and they will be off to college!

Well, this is exactly where these Betties are at in life.  We are relishing in these sweet times when our children aren't as demanding as a newborn, but are unencumbered with life's responsibilities.  Their loyalty is still 100% at home....but not for long.  We know this.  They will move forward, find other interests including careers, love...marriage.  Even becoming mothers and fathers themselves.

Nobody explains this stuff.  Rather you just hear from the stranger in the grocery store, "Enjoy this time, it goes so fast!"   Or the senior citizen at the park, "My children are all grown and have moved away."  One day you snap your fingers and 20 years have just passed you by.  So, what is one to do with these overwhelming yet fleeting moments while raising kids?

Dana has a sign in her kitchen that simply states "Rejoice."  It was purchased near Mother's Day 2007 when she was feeling extremely overwhelmed with 4 children under 5.  In fact that Mother's Day morning they were headed to the hospital to get stitches for one of the twins who had been slashed across the cheek with a wii remote!  She reminded herself of this verse as they packed up to go to the emergency room.  She continued daily to look at the little wooden sign as she washed bottles and prepared meals and tended wounds.

She still has the sign.  She still needs reminding. 

REJOICE this Mother's Day!  You will never again get one like it!  

Happy Mother's Day!
-The Betties

Snakes on a Plane

Oh, did we say snakes on a plane?  What we meant to say was KIDS on a plane.  We were just thinking how some folks would probably rather travel with snakes given the choice. 

Summer is quickly approaching and that means summer travel.  Between the girlfriends, 7 children are hopefully being raised to set a good example to the traveling public.  But, it's not without some planning, setting expectations, and plain old BRIBERY!

Getting a jump start on the summer travel season, the homeschooling Betty is preparing her brood for a 5 hour flight.  After all, one of the perks of homeschooling is jumping on a plane when most are not.  You can rub it in her face when she is stuck at home this summer, educatin' the children in the dining room, while you are at the beach.

So here is what she has stewing in her bag of tricks and perhaps this can give you some ideas when you plan your next trip to see grandma.

First of all, it had been a while since the family had all flown together.  Mom knew the littlest folks in the family (twins that are 5) needed some briefing on what to expect.  So, while the packing was being completed, the kids sat down to watch All About Airplanes.  Free on Netflix!  This showed airport security, where your bags go when you check them, boarding the plane, the cockpit and many other fun things on a commercial airline.

http://www.amazon.com/All-About-Airplanes-Helicopters/dp/B00104AZ00

After the expectations were set with help from the movie, the activity bags (carry-ons) were zipped up and not allowed to be seen by the kids.  Surprises awaited and by letting them rummage through their items before the trip, powerful bargaining tools would be lost....like, "If you don't stop kicking the seat in front of you, I will not let you see the cool new toy I have for you!"  Or, "If you press that flight attendant call button one more time, you will not get the yummy snack I packed."  Leaving it a mystery is half the fun!  Now, most of you that know us, also know that we don't use bribery as a way of getting our kids to do much of anything.  BUT on an airplane just do what it takes to keep them content for the sake of everyone around you.  If you consistently use other forms of discipline (which is another blog entirely ...Biblical Parenting 101) at home...your kids will respect you and everyone around them.  Your home is training ground... not an airplane...spare everyone the drama associated with teachable moments and save it for after you land.

As you can see, the girlfriends have no problems with DVDs, Video Games, and basically all forms of electronics.

You are in survival mode on a plane...not up for mother of the year awards.

I think we will play a round of this too...

And the winner will get an unopened toy...it will have enough pieces to be shared with siblings.  We don't need a meltdown because they did not win the prize!

Don't forget those comfort objects for the little ones...a favorite blanket or stuffed animal can buy you a thousand peaceful miles.

ONE FINAL TIP!  WATCH THE MUSIC YOU PUT ON THE IPOD/TOUCH

This could happen to YOU!

Happy Trails!